Will I create reason for regret,
By the choices I make today?
With or without conscious intent,
To dark recall, will I fall prey?
Sustained regret is a fictitious deceit,
When shackled to for long.
The things I cannot change,
I must learn from and move on.
I grow through my mistakes,
Great teachers of time.
Yet I pray for the wisdom,
To know and choose what’s right.
I say it frequently:
“Ohhhhh to live in my head.
A fun place to visit,
But not a great place to live.”
Thoughts race in disorganized flight,
And have too few landing strips.
Clarity at times is fleeting,
Appearing primarily in blips.
My next steps are covered,
By the stretched shadows of blind leaps.
And open graves are created,
For my regret to sleep.
On other occasions it’s orderly inside,
Rapid thoughts are flying straight.
With only short necessary landings,
To connect easily at different gates.
New information is absorbed,
And it’s applied in my active life.
My decisions stand a fighting chance,
Of being well thought out and right.
The two do hang together,
Meeting at conventions and “Pub Brain”.
Strategizing, with one group dominant,
The Insanes versus the Sanes.
I don’t typically play the slots,
Pokers is not my gig.
Black jack is nail biting,
I don’t know what the heck keno is!
Yet I find I sometimes gamble,
Hoping for consequence evasion.
And every time I get by with something,
I lean towards doing it again…
Even when I know what’s right,
I sometimes choose what’s wrong.
Instead of the inner voice God’s given,
I listen to MY desires, MY wants.
I’m not proud of this particular trait,
At times My strength seems gone.
Sometimes I make bad choices out if ignorance,
And my growth is simply prolonged.
It’s when my understanding is present,
When I’m cognizant of what I’m doing.
That I gamble and squander my sanity,
At these times, to darkness my soul is losing.
I pray for strength here, knowing this isn’t a game,
I realize my destructive ways are fatal.
I stand to watch all crumble to motionless dust,
I eventually lose when I choose to gamble.
The lights, the noise, the rewards and bonuses,
Seek to lure me in, to steal my soul.
I know I can’t stop by my own strength,
I need God to help me walk around the gambler’s hole!
If I could learn from your mistakes,
And you could learn from mine.
Think of how much easier it would be,
To maneuver through this life.
Instead I feel the need,
To touch the stove myself,
As if the times I’ve been burned before
Lacked the ability to compel.
Compel me to make wiser decisions,
Ones to enhance my journey.
An avoidance of the pain and consequences,
Of learning the hard way.
Perhaps it’s pride that’s the culprit,
The belief it won’t happen to me.
As if I’m somehow different,
“Where you’ve failed, I’ll succeed”.
I pray my deceived thinking,
These detrimental false beliefs.
Can be altered by choosing to learn,
From what other’s mistakes show me!