Darkness surrounds my being,
And a lamp is within reach.
Hopelessness consumes me,
And I know where to go for release.
Powerlessness claims my existence,
When I have all the strength I need.
Death overtakes my garden,
I watch it wither and plant no new seeds.
The tide is rising and I’m still at ground level,
Not yet ascending the cliff.
Lightning strikes all around me,
And under a tree I sit.
The snake approaches and I do not move,
Though I have time before it arrives.
The tornado is in the distance, the cellar’s within reach,
Yet I do not go inside.
Portion of the full poem https://journeyinrhyme.wordpress.com/2013/09/23/addiction-self-inflicted-disaster/
This is based upon a dream I had last night.
Standing stable on solid slab,
Aloft undefined ground below.
Suddenly flat surface begins to slant,
Small seeds of fear were sewn.
Growing steeper and steeper,
I was shifted out of balance.
The tilt more and more threatening,
My security now, but a fragment.
Grasping to the upper edge,
My only link to safety.
Only one arm available,
My other injured beside me.
I was horrified and panicked,
Cluttered, indistinct destruction swirling.
Hand slipping, to let go meant to die,
Into an unknown I couldn’t see, an abyss blurring.
And then, all became still, upright, and stable again…
I discovered it hadn’t moved at all,
The person with me was confused, at best.
It was some sort of hallucination, I was told,
Suggested to have been triggered by stress.
I often know trouble when I see it.
I can recognize it afar off.
Yet I typically go running in its direction.
Why? I – know – not!
If there is a risk to be taken,
Considering minimal probability of death.
I sometimes jump right in,
Just close my eyes and hold my breath.
Some call it self-destructive.
Okay, perhaps they have a case.
Some call it self sabotage,
Two coin sides, same face.
These days I’m less inclined to chase after,
That which is certain to cause pain.
But there’s this secret place within,
Seeking freedom from safety’s chains.
Perhaps a nod to my past.
Perhaps a denial of my future.
Either way I need help keeping her in check.
I can’t succumb to destruction’s allure.
Note: I have noooooo idea where the words “freedom from safety’s chains” came from!!! I talk about a lot of chains in my writings (fear, addiction etc)- but I think I dig safety… So…. Hmmmm. End note.
Natures’ aggression unleashed.
Upon victim earth.
Ship tossed to and fro
Among oceanic flames