Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Posts tagged ‘rebellion’

Bricked Regret…

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When I address my reflective sight,
I see regret’s birth and nurtured growth.
Brick upon brick of wrong choices,
In valid confidence or carelessness I chose.

The wall I erected and enshrined,
Has mostly collapsed into mounds.
Present in pieces only,
Shifting slowly into my past’s hollowed grounds.

Yet portions of the wall,
Reinforced by recollection’s steel.
Remain sturdy and strong,
I even think I see a new tier.

On that wall, my biggest regrets…

I often consider how ungrateful I used to be,
The endless days spent immersed in self-pity.
How long I lived seeing no one but me.

Rarely recognizing the multitude of blessings I knew.
Focusing on all the hurt and wrongs caused by “you”.
Seeing only reason for anger and resentments upon review.

But, Now I see, eyes perhaps too open.

I’ve been given so much,
Family and provision to sustain me.
Trauma, abuse, but strength to endure,
Often walking dead, yet gifted to breathe.

No matter my pain at any time,
There’s always one who suffers more.
I was so blind to what I had,
Rich in much, living spiritually poor.

Forgive me Father,
For not seeing the truth.
That all the while I justified my rebellion,
I should have been thanking You…

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gambler’s Hole…

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I don’t typically play the slots,
Pokers is not my gig.
Black jack is nail biting,
I don’t know what the heck keno is!

Yet I find I sometimes gamble,
Hoping for consequence evasion.
And every time I get by with something,
I lean towards doing it again…

Even when I know what’s right,
I sometimes choose what’s wrong.
Instead of the inner voice God’s given,
I listen to MY desires, MY wants.

I’m not proud of this particular trait,
At times My strength seems gone.
Sometimes I make bad choices out if ignorance,
And my growth is simply prolonged.

It’s when my understanding is present,
When I’m cognizant of what I’m doing.
That I gamble and squander my sanity,
At these times, to darkness my soul is losing.

I pray for strength here, knowing this isn’t a game,
I realize my destructive ways are fatal.
I stand to watch all crumble to motionless dust,
I eventually lose when I choose to gamble.

The lights, the noise, the rewards and bonuses,
Seek to lure me in, to steal my soul.
I know I can’t stop by my own strength,
I need God to help me walk around the gambler’s hole!

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Pic: http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/losing-your-soul-michael-hurwitz.jpg

 

 

 

 

Atmospheric Chains…

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Atmospheric changes,
From pure visible light to stormy dark.
From protective calm to violent tempest,
Lightening strikes, I reach out, soul’s shocked.

Into worldly submission,
Defenses down, false shelter under metal trees,
Disconnected from God,
Focused fatally on me.

On my wants, my desires,
Dangerously toying with temptation.
Approaching it before it approaches me,
Destructive initiation.

I get stronger, growing in God,
Connected to The Holy Spirit’s promptings.
Conscience, intuition… Holy voices muffled by will,
Childish rebellion, disheartening.

Less of me and more of Him,
The ever present eye of all storms.
No more drowning in preventable floods,
I seek the shelter of the Son.

Now,

Will I take God’s offered, mercifully hand?
Or keep one foot in a grave, meant to bind me to this carnal coffin?

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Pic: http://nuggetsbyaprildishon.blogspot.com/?m=1

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