Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Posts tagged ‘sad’

A Hopeless Gray…

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My cloud isn’t pink
It’s gray
How long, I wonder
Will I feel this way

No purple sunsets
In my mind
Only thumbnail moons
In darkened nights

I question the future
Days I’ve left to live
How many times I will
Fall into the same abyss

I ride a magic carpet
In my dreams
I watch my journey
From above the trees

Trying to escape
Less scathed
Than the previous times
I’ve lost my way

My cloud’s no longer pink
It’s, YET AGAIN, a hopeless gray…

©E.D. Allee
April, 2014

Image: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/celebrity/files/2011/11/black-cloud-blue-sky.jpg

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You’ll Never Be Lonely…

I wrote this around age 15 for my brother who bravely joined the Navy during Desert Storm. We are lucky neither of us are significantly maimed the way we fought! But we always loved each other very much!!! He is back and has a beautiful family!!

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Do you ever get lonely and look in the sky
And pick out a star that’s way up high
And on it you make one single request
And leave it up to God to do the rest
You’ll never be lonely when you wish on a star
Because someone is wishing on it at the same time you are
Think of someone you love when you look in the sky
And pick out a star that catches your eye
Make a wish known only by you.
And someone out there will make the same wish too……

©E.D. Allee
1990

Image: http://andimissyou.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/wish.gif

Revisited…

The pain of yesterday,
Is now the pain of today.
Old hurts resurface,
Showing no mercy or restraint.

New tears are cried,
Off the drips of tears past.
Sorrows thought buried,
Exit their open tombs intact.

But now…

The peace of today,
Strives to shred yesterday’s pains.
God’s love buffers old hurts.
Stale are the tears which remain.

However…

The sorrow is slower to leave.
Spilling and merging with my porous soul.
Painting dull colors upon my countenance,
Making movements surreal and slow.

It cruelly replays dark memories,
Blanketing thick shadows on my heart.
Actively consuming hope,
Tearing apart healing scars,

Mistakes made on destruction’s heels,
Existence defined only as “survive”.
I’m reminded again,
How it feels to be barely alive…

 

Feeling’s Fading Reign….

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I’m not well versed on the matter,
Of how to push past my emotions.
They’re like a life raft aimlessly adrift,
An expansive, fickle ocean.

I submit to them, I acquiesce,
Sometimes without considering truth.
Ignoring the things I’ve learned,
My undisciplined soul, a harmful muse.

They assert their control upon my life,
Making it hard, at times, to breathe.
I fight the urge to crawl into my shell,
To induce my cowards leave.

I’m learning to proceed regardless of,
The emotional whispers strumming my fears.
To swim to the surface, cinder block bound,
Where feelings become mere souvenirs…

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Image: http://en.artoffer.com/_images_user/5576/193786/large/Raphaela-C.-Naeger-Abstract-art-Miscellaneous-Emotions-Modern-Age-Abstract-Art.jpg

To James: You Will Be Missed…

You’ve been instrumental,
In helping me to change.
Many have tried before,
But I always remained the same.

You helped me open my eyes,
When I didn’t even know they were shut.
Exposing the falsities I’d subscribed to,
As destructive and corrupt.

You showed me there’s a different way,
To live this life I’ve been given.
That existing needn’t be such a struggle,
And I can escape my self-made prison.

You sold me hope with love,
In exchange for surrender.
Convincing me there’s a better way,
Than my adopted misadventures.

You laid out a map of sorts,
Leading to a different life.
And you showed me some tools,
To help me live it right.

You saw things in me,
Things I couldn’t see or understand.
I didn’t even know to look,
For the devil’s contraband.

You’ve touched so many lives,
And I know you’ll touch many more.
I wish you success and blessings,
As you walk through new doors.

You’ll always hold a special place,
Deep within my heart.
A place reserved by God Himself,
One for you He specifically carved.

Know you’ve made an impact,
That you are a strong light in darkness.
I pray you continue your crusade with vigor,
And fulfill your God-assigned purpose…

©E.D. Allee
February, 2014

This is dedicated to a man who helped me change my life through recovery from drugs and alcohol.  I, as an alumni of the treatment program I was in, have been able to revisit his lectures two days a week.  He will be moving on to another position now. He will be missed. 

Ode to Serendipity…

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Serendipity,
I miss my sweet little love.
Fourteen years, too short…

©E.D. Allee

Lost her back in 2010. Still a painful ache in my heart. Always loved this pic I took of her in her healthy days. Her amazing eyes, and beautiful calming spirit was with me through the hardest times of my life. Wanted to share.

 

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