Insanity…

Ever hit one of these,

So hard your nose bleeds,

And u swear you won’t do it again?

You pick yourself up.

You dust yourself off.

And rev up the ole’ flame within.

You’ve grabbed no new tools,

You’re going faster than before,

And you’re head is straight up your ass.

Not a glamorous sight,

But appearance aside…

You’ve learned to fail with class!

The same brick wall.

The same barricade.

Will sanity ever win?

Perhaps you’ll bust it down,

Or maybe go around,

Or simply repeat… ad infinitum.
©2017 Elizabeth Dianne Allee

Mental Residence…

I say it frequently:

“Ohhhhh to live in my head.
A fun place to visit,
But not a great place to live.”

Sometimes:

Thoughts race in disorganized flight,
And have too few landing strips.
Clarity at times is fleeting,
Appearing primarily in blips.
My next steps are covered,
By the stretched shadows of blind leaps.
And open graves are created,
For my regret to sleep.

But:

On other occasions it’s orderly inside,
Rapid thoughts are flying straight.
With only short necessary landings,
To connect easily at different gates.
New information is absorbed,
And it’s applied in my active life.
My decisions stand a fighting chance,
Of being well thought out and right.

Sure:

The two do hang together,
Meeting at conventions and “Pub Brain”.
Strategizing, with one group dominant,
The Insanes versus the Sanes.

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cKd9hSdi9GM/UFpTI2JrW7I/AAAAAAAACEU/5TkJDKB1kqw/s1600/brain-color.jpg

 

 

 

 

Far From Sanity…

One of my talented blogger friends (http://mcfcwolf.wordpress.com) read and liked this poem earlier- and I noticed he was the first to read it. I posted it during my blog’s infancy- figure I will repost to give it a chance to be heard. Some of you may know I’m now a little over a year clean/sober. This poem was written when I was trying to get clean before I relapsed one last time to finally quit on January 5, 2013… A little darker than some of my stuff, but some may be able to relate. Thanks for reading!

journeyinrhyme

My mind is spinning spider webs in a dark and, crowded room
While it is imprisoned and overtaken by a restless state of doom
My warrior protectors have disappeared and I’ve been left alone
As the world slithers around me, and I don’t feel safe in my home

The feelings within bring to the surface only negativity
Which, if my mind wasn’t racing so, I could extinguish with sleep
Yet I remain awake while my world and body physically shake
And I’m forced, when confronted by “mysterious sounds and visuals”, to stay awake

I once was able to escape from this torture with a mixed cocktail created by me
But I find myself now adrift, upon a restless, wild and deep ocean- called early sobriety
Thoughts, thoughts bumping into each other as they race to a nonexistent finish
Around in circles my head goes, I just wish this incessant static…

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