God’s shaping me every day
Fundamentals of life are disclosed
In pieces I can grasp
As not to overload
Gotta learn the basics
To live this life right
To be who God wants me to be
So in peace I’ll abide
I’m tested on life lessons
If I pass then I advance
If I fail I can take the test over
I’m grateful He gives me the chance
When it comes to spiritual maturity
There are many developmental stages
While each requires effort and sometimes pain
I look forward to more of God’s “basics”
Draw a portrait of yourself,
They said when I was five.
Make it look just like you,
Blonde hair, brown eyes, and white.
The hair and eyes were easy.
But I couldn’t color hard enough,
For the white to actually appear,
And white is what they said I was.
Draw a portrait of yourself,
They said when I was six.
Blonde hair and brown eyes, easy,
I was given peach this time for my skin.
I loved the sun, and was actually,
More of a golden brown tan.
So questions about my color arose.
Inquiries about skin and race began.
There were portraits in many shades,
In class, others did just as I.
White, peach, black, brown, red
Nobody’s seemed quite right.
Today we all work from boxes,
Filled with more crayons than twenty-four.
And we know we can mix colors,
With the colors laid down before.
If I color myself brown I’m still “white”
If you color yourself brown, you’re still “black”
We’re all so much more than colors,
In a yellow and green cardboard pack…
True love was always away from her grasp,
Always just out of reach.
Now he’s entered into her life,
And is sweeping her off her feet.
His smile, his touch, the kindness of his heart,
The feel of her hand in his.
She wants so badly to believe this is real,
Not a fear-filled impossible labyrinth.
But is this a fading dream she’s in?
She’s been hurt and loved in vain.
Her heart torn in pieces, black and blue,
Sworn never to love again.
She’s loving him with most of her heart,
Right now that’s all she can give.
Deciding with caution more every day,
She wants to be with him…
If I could learn from your mistakes,
And you could learn from mine.
Think of how much easier it would be,
To maneuver through this life.
Instead I feel the need,
To touch the stove myself,
As if the times I’ve been burned before
Lacked the ability to compel.
Compel me to make wiser decisions,
Ones to enhance my journey.
An avoidance of the pain and consequences,
Of learning the hard way.
Perhaps it’s pride that’s the culprit,
The belief it won’t happen to me.
As if I’m somehow different,
“Where you’ve failed, I’ll succeed”.
I pray my deceived thinking,
These detrimental false beliefs.
Can be altered by choosing to learn,
From what other’s mistakes show me!
I waste not time asking why,
Explanations prove too numerous to sift.
Answers are primarily filled with opinions,
Based on varied beliefs and experiences.
But I do find myself wondering,
Confounded by the repetitive theme.
How it is, in spite of all I’ve learned.
I keep choosing what’s wrong, and faltering.
Pesky flesh, disobedient and immature soul,
In constant training I remain.
I face trials and tribulations,
I’m growing and learning each day.
At one time, mistakes brought self-condemnation,
Which tried to separate me from God.
I now focus on the gift of spiritual conviction.
God and I both know I’ll fail… A Lot!
I now move to God rather than away when I’ve erred,
Knowing only He can make me stronger.
I’m afflicted with self-focused desires,
A carnal soul, a spirit-offending impostor.
My needs and wants I seek without pause,
I trip on stones when my guard is down.
I continually try to pilot this vessel myself,
Yet, when shipwrecked, still need to be found.
I haven’t got myself together, not sure I ever will,
And I suspect my past will always strive for revival.
Temptations will tug at my soul while I have breath
I’m just grateful I have God with me through it all.