Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Posts tagged ‘mercy’

Atmospheric Chains…

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Atmospheric changes,
From pure visible light to stormy dark.
From protective calm to violent tempest,
Lightening strikes, I reach out, soul’s shocked.

Into worldly submission,
Defenses down, false shelter under metal trees,
Disconnected from God,
Focused fatally on me.

On my wants, my desires,
Dangerously toying with temptation.
Approaching it before it approaches me,
Destructive initiation.

I get stronger, growing in God,
Connected to The Holy Spirit’s promptings.
Conscience, intuition… Holy voices muffled by will,
Childish rebellion, disheartening.

Less of me and more of Him,
The ever present eye of all storms.
No more drowning in preventable floods,
I seek the shelter of the Son.

Now,

Will I take God’s offered, mercifully hand?
Or keep one foot in a grave, meant to bind me to this carnal coffin?

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Pic: http://nuggetsbyaprildishon.blogspot.com/?m=1

Snapshot…

If I’d of pressed the shutter button,
Capturing my emotions.
On this night of further testing,
Of dangerous-waters to fall in.

It would be clear, I’m somewhat tangled,
Like compacted vines after a ferocious flood…
————–
The only estrogen present,
Usually not a big deal.
I think like a dude more than I should,
But tonight’s mirror was way too real.

My heart wasn’t in the old “hearty talk”.
I know enough about the female anatomy.
Yet I found myself merging to blend in,
By adding my inappropriate two “chick pennies”.
Familiar games from back in the day,
I’m just one of the guys.
My husband’s very familiar with that “E”
Maybe that’s why he was content by my side.

And what of all my surroundings?!
To my front, left and right,
Vodka, jäger, tequila…
In a bar with a mechanical bull to ride???

Hmmm… Really doesn’t sound that bad on rewind.
Hot chick waitresses, people dancing,
The smell of breathing liquor in the air,
Yet I was trapped in a seductive entrancing.

Present, away, back, then gone again,
Smiling, joking, inserting my careless wit.
All the while choking back the need to run,
Crawling, not quickly enough, out of my skin.

I could have left. I had a key to my hotel. It wasn’t far to walk.

But I didn’t leave.

I could have.

But I didn’t.

I DID, however, survive…

A little worn from a poorly fought battle,
Some shaky, soft lessons to assimilate.
Although I’m not impressed with me,
I’m not going to needlessly dwell on my mistakes.

God knows my heart, and my “floaties” didn’t pop.
While I know He’s not particularly proud,
We’ve spoken on the matter,
And I’m thankful His mercy ever abounds!

©E.D. Allee
February, 2014

Note: No alcoholics were harmed in the making of this snap shot. I’m still sober!

 

I Falter…

I waste not time asking why,
Explanations prove too numerous to sift.
Answers are primarily filled with opinions,
Based on varied beliefs and experiences.

But I do find myself wondering,
Confounded by the repetitive theme.
How it is, in spite of all I’ve learned.
I keep choosing what’s wrong, and faltering.

Pesky flesh, disobedient and immature soul,
In constant training I remain.
I face trials and tribulations,
I’m growing and learning each day.

At one time, mistakes brought self-condemnation,
Which tried to separate me from God.
I now focus on the gift of spiritual conviction.
God and I both know I’ll fail… A Lot!

I now move to God rather than away when I’ve erred,
Knowing only He can make me stronger.
I’m afflicted with self-focused desires,
A carnal soul, a spirit-offending impostor.

My needs and wants I seek without pause,
I trip on stones when my guard is down.
I continually try to pilot this vessel myself,
Yet, when shipwrecked, still need to be found.

I haven’t got myself together, not sure I ever will,
And I suspect my past will always strive for revival.
Temptations will tug at my soul while I have breath
I’m just grateful I have God with me through it all.

©E.D. Allee
January, 2014

 

 

Do You Know the Why?

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All you see is the surface, skewed in size and appearance

All you recognize is the negativity affecting YOUR existence

All you hear are words, you know not from where they arise

All you examine is a stern face with masked, false eyes

 

You break the person in pieces and assemble them back all wrong

Hastily assigning a misinterpreted title to a canvas you don’t own

In an instant you are colored by the judgments that you hold

About someone who isn’t you, about someone you do not know

 

You care not what might be hurting their world, or what pain is in their lives

Compassion is crucial yet lacking, and your mercy never arrives

Behind the anger and the strike against your precious feelings

Is a human being with fears and concerns trying their hand at surviving

 

Does your inconvenience assign you the right to forget the why?

Do they not deserve the same love and respect you expect others to supply

 

Will you see beyond the surface deceitful in its display?

Will you consider more than the negativity being hurled your way?

Will you listen and hear words not spoken?

Will you examine the face behind the mask they’ve chosen?

 

All I’ve seen is your personified annoyance

All I’ve considered is what I perceive as harsh judgment

All I’ve heard is an attitude of selfish unforgiveness

All I’ve examined is your outward rank appearance

 

I’m sorry, I forgot to consider the why…

©E.D. Allee

September 13, 2013

Picture By nirots, published on 23 December 2012

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