Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Posts tagged ‘alone’

Alone…

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Small hints of demise
Twisting down in the abyss
Descent is alone

©E.D. Allee
April, 2014

Image: http://www.desktophdwallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/wallpapers/Other/Dark-Hole-Desktop-Wallpaper.jpg

Awaken, Not to Life…

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Thick, black mascara tears.
Still lying on the tile,
Cold and hard
Is her hazy, piecemeal truth.

Small cuts evrywhere,
Diced pain.
Broken glass surrounds.
She thinks to herself… Again?

She Wonders:

How she got here,

Where “here” is,

And if she’ll ever leave…

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Image: http://www.wall321.com/thumbnails/detail/20130126/510472efd7a45.jpg

 

My Light’s Not Mine Alone…

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I like to be alone, but,
What if I had no one?
Floating in space, no link,
By nothingness, overcome.

Solitude I cherish, but,
What if I become lost?
Make a wrong turn upon a path,
My goals of peace, for nought?

I’d rather stay to myself, but,
What if it’s not about me?
Hiding the chance to share my light,
And give love to those in need…

Taking a moment alone,
I consider being by myself.
Solitude at hand,
I need to get out of me for a spell…

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vo3z-1GbuJc/TOSYJ3_wRJI/AAAAAAAAACc/duyxQY__S70/s1600/BurnBright.jpg

 

 

Our Angel Oak…

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I’ll meet you at our special place,
Below the Angel Oak.
Where we knew true love’s first kiss,
And shared secrets only we would know.

Where I gazed lovingly at your beauty,
Brushing your hair from your shy face.
As the sun peaked through the limbs,
To share light amidst the shade.

The breezes meant for us alone,
Whispering love’s song within our ears.
Where the world melted into serenade,
And all of our troubles disappeared.

I’ll meet you there again my love,
When our spirits reunite.
I’ll be waiting there with anticipation,
At our Angel Tree, sweet love, my wife…

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Image: http://e0.vingle.net/c_limit,fl_progressive,q_85/l2bzbe3umco2pxaozazs.jpg

 

Walking Dead…

Stagger, erratic, head unsteady and down turned.
Thinner than a person should be.
Hair disheveled, short shorts in cool temps,
The walking dead among the living.

I wonder where her mind is at,
Speedily walking, countenance filled with fear.
So exposed, unable to hide from witnessing eyes,
My heart hurts, seeing her likely in addictions snares.

So, I pray for you, remembering the bondage.
May God envelop you in His love.
Fill you with hope and strength.
Guide you to help, send you one to trust.
I pray you hold on to life.
Seeing the hope and light ahead.
Resisting the desire to quit.
Choosing to return from the walking dead.

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

 

Good Enough…

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Feeling not good enough,
Try as she may.
Holding in her tears,
With a smile on her face.

Trying not to let him hinder her,
He’s only one upon the earth.
She knows in her mind,
He doesn’t measure her worth.

But it’s in her heart,
Where the pain grows stronger.
A tree watered by his acid words. Disapproving glances make her smaller.

Trying to remember the truth she has adopted,
Within the heart God gave her.
Forgetting momentarily, her gained wisdom,
She lets him destroy her happily ever after.

TRUTH:
She’s more than enough,
A beautiful child of the living God.
Perfected daily,
By God’s everlasting, healing love.

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Pic: http://www.deviantart.com/art/The-Pain-of-Life-404138298

 

 

Tick, Tick, Tick… Held Inside

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She holds it all inside,
The hurts and fear she feels.
Slave to sustaining appearances,
A false smile offered to conceal.

Reaching out is weakness to her,
Established in her destructive strength.
Alone in a world she keeps at bay,
Within herself she continues to sink.

Her insides stew, destined to escape,
Without her approval or permission.
Unable to maintain her hiding,
In the depths of emotional oppression.

In fury, in rage, in lamenting tears,
Hidden no more, is what’s inside.
Control was simply a cruel illusion,
A consequence of denial and pride.

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Pic: http://talesofnightwing.deviantart.com/art/Silence-427621465

 

 

Awkward in This World…

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Awkward in this world,
Is the way I walk around.
Not comfortable in the skin God gave me,
Timid, and among others, still alone.

Preferring to hide away from people,
So as not to be exposed.
I wish to conceal the pain,
That I nurse and help grow.

Many pains, fears, and inadequacies,
Haunt and control me to my core.
I feel eyes upon me while I move,
As a stranger through this world.

Awkward glances and awkward smiles,
I’m intimidated by every flicker of shadow or light.
I know not how to just “be”,
And capture freedom from this awkward plight.

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

This was written January 9, 2013- Four days after I quit using/drinking. I’ve come a loooong way, but admit I have further to let God bring me. I’m still way too comfortable with isolation, but I don’t feel like the awkward stranger I once identified with. Thanks for reading!

Pic: http://8thwood.com/images/Alone-in-a-Crowd1.jpg

 

Soaked Despair Meets Hope…

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Her umbrella settles upside down,
Open, but on the ground.
She grasps it by the firm handle,
And drags it slowly, letting it dangle.

The rain is falling in unforgiving buckets,
She’s drenched, cold and adapted to numbness.
Her steps are staggered, her head hangs low,
Dusk is upon her, and she’s all alone.

She feels a pull, a prompting from deep within.
To set the umbrella, upright again.
Slightly hesitant, she complies,
Lifting her head to join her open eyes.

Present once more in the moment,
Awareness restored, yet remaining reticent.
Her feet steadying, weakly standing tall,
Grasping the hand reaching out, preventing her fall.

The hand of God, powerful, and nostalgically familiar,
Love, warmth, and light surreal.
He calms the storm inside her soul,
Her upright umbrella; she’s alone no more.

©E.D. Allee
February, 2014

Pic: http://weather.thefuntimesguide.com/images/blogs/rain-umbrella-with-sun-and-clouds-by-LilGoldWmn.jpg

If Only…

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Just outside her window,
A sheet of glass away.
She sees past the familiar,
Through unrelenting drops of rain.
Life in graceful color,
Wings she wishes she knew.
To fly her from the four wall perimeter,
Which has dominated her view.

©E.D. Allee
February, 2014

Pic:http://bradnd24.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/loneliness.jpg

 

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