Mirror mirror, in the sky,
Show me, who I am through Your eyes.
Reflect to me what You see.
Heart… soul… strength…
Search me with Your penetrating gaze,
Into my inward hidden place.
All that You find pleasing to You,
Amplify in Your love and truth.
And that which You wish to refine,
Reveal and transform to Your design.
Grant me willingness,
Surrender and obedience…
How to slay a dragon
How to miss its fiery torment
As it chases you from dusk to dawn
Bringing fear and pain with it
Sword and shield in hand
Despite aggressive forebodings
Courage in the face of terror
Like David with stone and sling
Slaying a dragon
Requires faith and surrender
We cannot achieve this alone
God is our sword, stone…our ultimate defender
Protecting your beauty
As you grow into
Your bloom of perfection
As the fiery sun
A glory to outshine
Your aggressive snares
Aspiring to be seen
To inspire and ignite
In hopeful purpose
In delicate vulnerability
photo: by me
Snap out of it; it’s over
There nothing you can do
The self pity is strangling
Move on and start anew
You’ve fallen and it hurt
You’re a little broken and bruised
But you’re on track to succeed
Get focused in that groove
I write for catharsis
I write so others feel less marooned
I write to encourage empathy
For people not like you
I’ve been on pause to mourn
I’m shedding the feelings of doom
Time’s stood still long enough
I must reclaim hope and gratitude…
This is part of my journey. My mistakes and trials help me grow. Acceptance has been hard this time, but I’m still here. I’m still breathing. My heartbeat and my pain are evidence of life, and I owe it to God, myself, and those I love… To strive.
New sobriety date: May 10, 2014
I don’t typically play the slots,
Pokers is not my gig.
Black jack is nail biting,
I don’t know what the heck keno is!
Yet I find I sometimes gamble,
Hoping for consequence evasion.
And every time I get by with something,
I lean towards doing it again…
Even when I know what’s right,
I sometimes choose what’s wrong.
Instead of the inner voice God’s given,
I listen to MY desires, MY wants.
I’m not proud of this particular trait,
At times My strength seems gone.
Sometimes I make bad choices out if ignorance,
And my growth is simply prolonged.
It’s when my understanding is present,
When I’m cognizant of what I’m doing.
That I gamble and squander my sanity,
At these times, to darkness my soul is losing.
I pray for strength here, knowing this isn’t a game,
I realize my destructive ways are fatal.
I stand to watch all crumble to motionless dust,
I eventually lose when I choose to gamble.
The lights, the noise, the rewards and bonuses,
Seek to lure me in, to steal my soul.
I know I can’t stop by my own strength,
I need God to help me walk around the gambler’s hole!
In your eyes I see,
A light which outshines the sun.
I see laughter and a playful spirit,
And many beautiful songs yet sung.
I see strength for life’s challenges,
And hope for the future.
I see a heart impenetrable by darkness,
And intentions good and pure.
I see dreams untamed,
Wishes upon fields of dandelions.
I see intelligence surpassing average,
And poetic stories filled with rhyme.
Natural gifts and talents,
Creativity and artistic desire,
A fighter for self-expression,
A life-force on fire.
I see a star filled sky,
With your own constellations.
Open canvases awaiting your brush strokes,
A multitude of colors to paint your aspirations.
I see so much within your eyes;
All you need be is you.
I’ll love you forever,
I pray you see what I see too…
Dedicated to my step daughter, nieces, and nephew… With LOVE from Aunt “E”
Sometimes it’s hard to just sit still,
To wait as You say to do.
To fight against my unruly human will,
When my flesh is crawling with desires to move.
I know You’ll renew my strength,
If I could, with trust, find peace with pause.
But I want resolution sooner rather than later,
Won’t You help me with my cause?
I know You’re working.
I believe in Your truths.
If only biding time were easy.
But, I question, what good would that do?
You say I’ll mount up on wings like eagles,
Wings that rise above raging storms.
Catching the powerful wind currents,
Which lift and carry them along.
Lifted high, yet dependent on Your support,
In stillness or in movement.
Please grant me the willingness I need,
To move through and beyond this.
“But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.”