Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Far From Sanity…

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My mind is spinning spider webs in a dark and, crowded room
While it is imprisoned and overtaken by a restless state of doom
My warrior protectors have disappeared and I’ve been left alone
As the world slithers around me, and I don’t feel safe in my home

The feelings within bring to the surface only negativity
Which, if my mind wasn’t racing so, I could extinguish with sleep
Yet I remain awake while my world and body physically shake
And I’m forced, when confronted by “mysterious sounds and visuals”, to stay awake

I once was able to escape from this torture with a mixed cocktail created by me
But I find myself now adrift, upon a restless, wild and deep ocean- called early sobriety
Thoughts, thoughts bumping into each other as they race to a nonexistent finish
Around in circles my head goes, I just wish this incessant static would quit

I’ve never paid so much attention to the constant chatter in my head
I’ve never seen the paranoia, pain and fear with such clarity and depth
Will this battle within subside, or is this my new normal
I question because it feels like, I’ll never return, over the edge I will fall

Someone please promise me that all will be okay
Help me pour myself into God’s protective loving grace
I know He holds my hand even when I try to run
And that as long as I’m faithful the world we will overcome
Hopelessness prevails though, despite my internal convictions
Forgive me Father; I know Your work in me is not yet done
I just can’t sit still and I’m dizzy from the thoughts swirling inside my head
Keep me intact, guiding me through the jungle, not with fear, but with faith instead

©E.D. Allee
December 27, 2012

pic: my collection

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Comments on: "Far From Sanity…" (10)

  1. Reblogged this on journeyinrhyme and commented:

    One of my talented blogger friends (http://mcfcwolf.wordpress.com) read and liked this poem earlier- and I noticed he was the first to read it. I posted it during my blog’s infancy- figure I will repost to give it a chance to be heard. Some of you may know I’m now a little over a year clean/sober. This poem was written when I was trying to get clean before I relapsed one last time to finally quit on January 5, 2013… A little darker than some of my stuff, but some may be able to relate. Thanks for reading!

  2. Most than anything I admire your strength to have overcome the addiction. Happy for you!

  3. Powerful and relatable E. It took me to a place I was all too familiar with so long ago. My pride is in abundance for your triumphant victory over those Demons. Be ever vigilant and surround yourself with family, friends, and God’s grace and you will surely continue to reap the benefits of sobriety eternal.

    • I appreciate all of your support and encouragement. I know we are “blog buds” but you have been an impactful part of my journey. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share some of your own story of successful sobriety with me. And “sobriety eternal” What a beautiful concept and phrasing… You could go somewhere in rhyme with that my gifted friend!

      Sent from my iPad

      >

      • Thanks “Bud”. lol. Those two words struck me too when I wrote them (Eternal Sobriety). I am so pleased to know I have had a positive impact on your journey. Anytime you need a shoulder to lean on or anything a friend who understands can provide, feel free to hit me up. It is healing to me as well to help others. This you must already know. Keep Inspiring.

  4. Thanks for sharing again, I often do that also, some of the earlier poems i shared were not read by many in the beginning. So you will see me share a couple of them also. It is easy to see through that poem that you were deeply blessed with talent! I love your poetry, and it is so embracing! Blessings and hugs to you!

  5. verbnflow said:

    My warrior protectors have disappeared. I can relate to that so much. Beautifully written.

    • Wish you didn’t relate so much, but I’m glad you can rest assured that your not alone. Thanks for the compliment, and… for thinking it was beautifully written!

      Sent from my iPad

      >

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