Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Posts tagged ‘Na’

Please Receive…

I happened to run into a person I knew on an acquaintance level in AA- at a hospital AA meeting. This is not a meeting I go too.  She is inpatient for detox and drug/alcohol rehab. There is more to the back story, but in general our reconnecting seemed quite supernaturally guided. Hope you are all well.

Witness to a familiar despair.
Eyes filled with tears, yet void of hope.
Questions swirling in unorganized fury.
Where to from here? You do not know.

Behind heavy, locked doors,
Flashlights frequent your closed eyelids.
Rows of rooms filled with strangers,
An energy of demoralization exists.

Well perfected masks, cracking all around.
Truths withheld due to fear.
Pseudo camaraderie, thirsty to connect.
Afraid to stay, and afraid to go back “out there”

Battered by cruel and abusive emotions,
Lies hauntingly scream of future failure.
Heart and mind blocked from receiving,
Help from those who’ve been there.


You can’t recall arriving.
Twenty eight days, one pair of clothes.
No friends or family to call,
Feeling isolated, pathologically alone.

I’m glad I saw you; I’m sure that was God.
We hadn’t spoken since last year.
Simply AA acquaintances, yet I felt an intuitive pull,
A new meeting, I’m sure God brought me there.

I pray for God to show me how to help.
I pray you receive it…

©E.D. Allee
May, 2014


WHAT Is This?!!

I am not sure why,
But I have to say it’s scary.
The thoughts within my mind,
Fear is creeping in on me.

Considerations of chemical alteration,
What the heck is this?
It’s been over a year since I drank or used,
But these feelings are so intense!

I feel the memories of my altered states,
Like bliss flowing through my body.
My eyes close in recollective reflection,
What is happening to me?!

I’m taking this quite well,
Under the serious circumstances.
I meet with my sponsor today,
And have two meetings planned.

This doesn’t have to ruin me.
God’s got me, and won’t let go.
I’m just perplexed at this reality.
Yet, I suspect it will help me grow.

©E.D. Allee

January, 2014







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