Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Posts tagged ‘longing’

Confronting And Accepting No…

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I feel as though God’s placed it on my heart to write this. The subject was the source of such intense pain as recent as a year ago.  I am unable to have children- one of the hardest things I’ve had to accept. When my faith began to strengthen, and the fog of my addictions started to lift in recovery… God showed me peace. Maybe some of you can relate, and even find some peace.

Why? The question I asked over and over.
I couldn’t understand.
Unable to put my longing to rest,
The dream, that as a little girl, was placed within.

Dreaming of when I’d hold those tiny hands.
Look upon that precious face.
A reflection of God’s love
Staring into my eyes, hope’s gaze.

My heart ached at the sight,
At the touch, at the thought,
At the scent as I held them,
At the sound of their cries, I felt loss.

Movies depicting a new additions’ joy,
Commercials, news of loved one expecting,
No matter how happy I was for them,
Inside, I was so very sad for me.

My friends, my sister… I couldn’t understand.
Perplexed, trying, thinking at times it was real,
Only to find it was false.
A tortuous taunting, I never thought I’d heal.

Then, the day came.
My eyes opened to truth.
I knew God’s plan was perfect,
My heart, was gently soothed.

I don’t have to understand.
I don’t have to know why.
I was such a mess for so long,
Probably best I was denied.

I remember the moment,
When I knew I was healed.
When the brokenness simply remained
In tearful echoes loosely concealed.

On my knees, I prayed to God,
Speaking the words “Thank You”.
Grateful that I was taken care of,
And that my baby, not to be, was too…

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

Image: http://imagecache6.allposters.com/LRG/27/2793/HM3OD00Z.jpg

 

Love’s Restless Road…

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In the longing for love’s longing.
In the desire for quenched desire.
In seeking that which seeks to be found.
In wanting to speak the unspoken whisper…

It’s easy to compromise,
Just to be held.
To know a lovers touch,
Ignite the oneness meld.

The thirst for reciprocation,
The warmth of another’s embrace.
Companionship’s determined pressure,
Can cause one to choose in haste.

Love’s mere existence is purposeful,
There’s much to be gained.
While genuine and beautiful,
Love can wrongfully enslave.

Shifting intuition into chance,
A misplaced heart searching for forever.
There are benefits from love in all forms,
Learning through mandatory errors.

Perhaps enduring pain and abuse,
Horrors of loose humanity.
From the longing inside for love,
Interlocked with fear’s company.

Can we learn to wait?
Acting based upon faith.
Protect our irrevocable hearts,
And avoid regret’s infinite refrains.

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014
Image: http://fsa.zedge.net/scale.php?img=My80LzAvOC8xLTk3MjUwNTMtMzQwODM3Ny5qcGc&ctype=1&v=4&q=81&xs=620&ys=383&sig=8c5855842e9c13433a3b88108f70369aa9564571

 

 

I Remember…

Everything Goes By...

Do you not remember, the last time we met,
When we sat and talked for hours?
Speaking our hearts unspokens,
Our views of the world becoming profounder.

Do you not remember our last embrace,
Godly energies exchanged?
Spirit to spirit, soul to soul,
An intimate interchange?

I do.

I long to know your embrace once more.
I long to meet with you again.
My heart needs to reconnect.
To revive the place I reserved for you within.

©E.D. Allee
February, 2014

Pic credit: http://theobviousandhidden.com/gallery/#jp-carousel-303

Picture from a blog I devotedly stalk! Can check out the blog with a groovy gallery at above link! 

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