Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Posts tagged ‘denial’

Futile Denial…

Some of you guys are familiar with my battle with drugs and alcohol. Well, I’m ready to “come out” about my recent relapse.  I’ve been reserving my recent poetry because I needed time to talk to my family about it.  One year, three months, and five days down- now I start the counting over.  Here is the first poem expressing some of the feelings I had during the month I was “out”. Thanks for reading. Btw- I’ve quit again. Working in day four.

~~~~~~~~

I didn’t want to believe it
I tried to deny it was true
Justified and rationalized
Until I finally knew

I knew I had messed up
I knew I had “slipped”
There was no turning back
Reality couldn’t be dismissed

One year, three months and five days
And my addictions returned
It happened, seemingly, in an instant
Despite all I had learned

Total devastation, defeated
My spirits crushed into hopelessness
The breath yanked violently
From my tight, hurting chest

A shade of lifeless alabaster
Crimson flood within my veins
Blinded by denial, I couldn’t see
I’d not been clean for days

©E.D. Allee
April, 2014

 

Words Unspoken…

Image

Sometimes things better left unsaid,

Aren’t better left unsaid, at all.

Many elephants in the room have been born

Who never see their fall.

Fear moves us not to move.

Denial holds us in place.

Avoidance solidifies comfort,

At least for the moments’ sake.

But what of the next moment,

And the moment following that one?

As with words said, can one’s unspoken

Ever be undone?

We are deceived to think the words died

With the lack of our attention.

For me I’ve found, most often,

They just lead to internal contention…

©E.D. Allee
 January, 2014

Tag Cloud