Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

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Awkward in this world,
Is the way I walk around.
Not comfortable in the skin God gave me,
Timid, and among others, still alone.

Preferring to hide away from people,
So as not to be exposed.
I wish to conceal the pain,
That I nurse and help grow.

Many pains, fears, and inadequacies,
Haunt and control me to my core.
I feel eyes upon me while I move,
As a stranger through this world.

Awkward glances and awkward smiles,
I’m intimidated by every flicker of shadow or light.
I know not how to just “be”,
And capture freedom from this awkward plight.

©E.D. Allee
March, 2014

This was written January 9, 2013- Four days after I quit using/drinking. I’ve come a loooong way, but admit I have further to let God bring me. I’m still way too comfortable with isolation, but I don’t feel like the awkward stranger I once identified with. Thanks for reading!

Pic: http://8thwood.com/images/Alone-in-a-Crowd1.jpg

 

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Comments on: "Awkward in This World…" (13)

  1. I too struggle with the comfort of isolation. I prefer to be alone most times, which is okay as long as I realize the difference between solitude and isolation. My alone time is often a great meditation. Especially if I am on my bike. Exercise and meditation simultaneously.

    • “The comfort of isolation”! That’s it!!!! I would rather be alone- can’t really decide these days if it’s solitude or isolation, probably both. I’m quite social when around others, I just PREFER the “comfort of solitude”. Glad you’ve found some balance there- you’ve mentioned that you bike ride several times. That has to be a friendly feeling of freedom. Great that you have that.

      Sent from my iPad

      >

      • Cycling has been a part of me for so long now it isn’t so much what I do as part of who I AM. It has been a great way to stay fit and out of trouble. As well as present challenges along the way. A key ingredient in the maintenance of what little sanity remains. LOL

      • LOL. It’s probably good to nurture and protect what’s left of our sanity… At least to the level we did our “insanity”!

        Sent from my iPad

        >

      • Yup. LOL. Time for our sanity to get equal billing with all the prior insanities waged on my mind and body. I just wish sanity was a regenerative thing. Like I could just grow more. Ahhhh well…………

      • Right! Maybe I’m right or maybe I’m pulling this out of some scientist’s orifice… But the brain cells don’t reproduce- once gone, gone… Such a shame.

        I like to think I’m making the most out of what I’ve got left. Sent from my iPad

        >

  2. You’re an angel, a heroine, a daughter of the King–you’re a blessing.

  3. You should be very proud!!

  4. ἇRVℎℰℰ said:

    Beautifully penned..
    I enjoy solitude’s company too.

🌻 I welcome your thoughts 🌻

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