Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

 Self-Inflicted Disaster

 Darkness surrounds my being and a lamp is within reach.

Hopelessness consumes me and I know where to go for release.

Powerlessness claims my existence when I have all the strength I need.

Death overtakes my garden, I watch it wither and plant no new seeds.

The tide is rising and I am still at ground level, not yet ascending the cliff.

Lightning strikes all around me and under a tree I sit.

The snake approaches and I do not move though I have time before it arrives.

The tornado is in the distance, the cellar’s within reach, yet I do not go inside.

 

What is it within me that does not move and allows disaster’s regular entry?

When will I break the pattern that for so long has defined me?

I sit alone, a drink in my hand, life as I know it I’m pondering.

Staring at a screen of written words wondering where they are going.

If I pause too long the words will no longer continue to flow.

Guess that would make the enemy happy, less of my world you will know.

Less I will know…

 

I don’t want to live this way.  I never really have.

Cuffs and chains are upon me binding me to my past.

Shackles on my feet prevent movement forward.

All the while, I have a key, a hammer, and a sword.

I could break free at any time, yet I continue to consume this liquid.

Why can’t I just let it go and finally begin to live?????

©E.D. Allee

12-20-05

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Comments on: "Self Inflicted Disaster (written 2005)" (7)

  1. I wish I had some answers for you. All I know is that every moment is a new opportunity to make different choices. If you believe this wholeheartedly, your past cannot bind you. Very sad, well written piece.

    • Thank you. This is an old piece I wrote in 2005. I am in a MUCH better place now -thank God! Like, really… thank God! All part of the journey. I agree- the only binding power the past holds is that which we give it!!!

  2. inbetweenthemadness said:

    Really touching piece. Some of those lines are amazing. Loved this.

  3. What you write about equals the way I feel about my emotions and the way they grip me and destroy everything

    You are exceptionally talented and for me personally, your poetry express what my thoughts and emotions are trying to say….

    • Thank you so much for your comments- it’s so rewarding to know that you are identifying with my expressions. I really hope they can bring the comfort of knowing you are not alone, and hope…
      Part of the journey.

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