Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Spider Webs Inside my Head…

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My mind is spinning spider webs in a dark and crowded room

While it is imprisoned and overtaken by a restless state of doom

My warrior protectors have disappeared and I’ve been left alone

As the world slithers around me, and I don’t feel safe in my home

 

The feelings within bring to the surface only negativity

Which, if my mind wasn’t racing so, I could extinguish with sleep

Yet I remain conscious while my world and body physically shake

And I’m forced, when confronted by “mysterious sounds and visuals”, to stay awake

 

I once was able to escape from this torture with a mixed cocktail created by me

But I find myself now adrift, upon a restless, wild and deep ocean- called early sobriety

Thoughts, thoughts bumping into each other as they race to a nonexistent finish

Around in circles my head goes, I just wish this incessant static would quit

 

I’ve never paid so much attention to the constant chatter in my head

I’ve never seen the paranoia, pain and fear with such clarity and depth

Will this battle within subside or is this my new normal

I question because it feels like, never to return, over the edge I will fall

 

Someone please promise me that all will be okay

Help me pour myself into God’s protective loving grace

I know He holds my hand even when I try to run

And that as long as I’m faithful, the world we will overcome

Hopelessness prevails though, despite my internal convictions

Forgive me Father; I know Your work in me is not yet done

I just can’t sit still and I’m dizzy from the thoughts swirling inside my head

Keep me intact, guiding me through this jungle, not with fear, but with faith instead

©E.D. Allee

Jan 2013

Photo By Vlado, published on 29 October 2011

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Comments on: "Spider Webs Inside my Head…" (13)

  1. Powerful piece. I hope that your faith will one day replace your fears.

  2. Such a powerful poem. Thank you so much for dropping by wePoets, it’s much appreciated. We’d be happy to showcase your poetry should you want to share 🙂

  3. It will be ok. I know that because we can control ourselves if we just believe

  4. Amazing words. Powerful truths. I congratulate you on the strength to take the first steps to sobriety. I have been sober for the better part of 20 years, and can only tell you the insecurities you walk hand in hand with now will dissipate as your self strength and courage return. I saw you dropped into my blog site and followed. I appreciate that and will be following you as well. I just posted a DUET with a good friend and it tells a story indirectly
    of the trials and triumphs we are both familiar with. It is called “A warriors heart” if you didn’t see it check it out.
    Keep Inspiring

    JMC

    • 20 years! That crazy amazing! Thanks for your kind reply- I appreciate the hope you’ve shared. I will certainly check out that post, and I look forward to reading more!

  5. Are you a little better today? I hope you are…blessings to you my sister!

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