There is a mirror in front of me.
The image is not mine, it’s a stranger that “I” see.
This stranger has my brown eyes
her pain looks the same, and too she cries.
As I speak, her mouth mimics the words.
I hear only my voice, yet see only hers.
I wonder what she’s trying to say.
I see her scars also cut deep as we both turn away.
To turn and face this similar being,
requires I face facts I wish I weren’t seeing.
Reality discloses that the image is mine,
and harshly lets me in on the secret I need to find.
To look and know that from myself I cannot run,
frightens me deeply, peace is overcome.
I travel down deep into those eyes.
I’m swimming in tears as pain pushes from behind.
The journey I’m on long continues.
I reach the end and feel hurt and confused.
I see a little girl in the distance,
surrounded by flowers with the sun’s warmth upon her as it glistens
I try to reach out for this small girl,
for a fierce sky is coming, and a cloud in a swirl.
She sees nothing, and just continues to play
She’s collecting an array of flowers, by beauty she swept away.
With her baby doll still grasped in her hands,
she quickly turns in fear, she does not understand.
The dark twister takes her away from that space,
leaving her dolly lying on the ground in her place.
The flowers have died because her presence is now gone.
It’s as if she never existed, like an unfinished song.
Empty as the once beautiful field,
I cry for the loss of the child that I feel.
I feel so helpless, it is all so unclear.
Where did she go; why is she no longer here?
In the distance I hear her.
We are lost somewhere, ourselves we wish to find.
Alone in each other’s presence, we are both left behind.
Our tears are real; they seem endless.
We can’t seem to fight, not against this.
Our nightmares rage on, strangling our souls.
We are afraid to sleep and lose the illusion of control.
It’s sometimes hard to reach out and feel you anymore.
I know a cold empty space where I thought you were.
The only warmth I feel is trapped in my tears.
Maybe that is why you’ve cried so much throughout these years.
Close your eyes now Elizabeth; it’s safe to rest.
We share the same heartbeat within our chests.
It’s okay to smile, see… I’m smiling with you.
It is okay to laugh and play while you hide like you do.
When I sing to you a lullaby,
hear my words and dry your eyes.
Know you’re never all alone.
“Yourself” is trying to find “you” and carry you home…