Poetic Journey in Personal Discovery

Sorrowful Joy

I recognize it more often of late, that feeling of deep remorse and regret

Coexisting among moments when I know joy; the emotions repetitively connect

By definition one opposes the other, joy’s embrace to sorrows’ sting

But I find at times while rejoicing, deep rooted sorrows spring

In instances of quiet reflection, the world pauses and the storm clouds clear

I am as a bird in peaceful flight watching the earth below stand still

A peace, as of yet, I cannot describe, due to its absence in much of my life

Flows gently over me in a rhythmic wave, yet I recognize hurt deep inside

Amongst the calm, amongst the serene, sorrow often comes to the surface

I’m left wondering how long this will be, and what could be the paradox’s purpose

While I know God has forgiven me; I guess I struggle forgiving myself for my past

I habitually look back on impulse at the shadows my choices have cast

I desire genuine joy without guilt and shame, layers of beauty I seek

I’ll keep reaching for joy, despite any semblance of pain within me

©E.D. Allee
March 2012
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